And sometimes it feels downright impossible. We are creatures of habit, day and night, awake and asleep. How can you leave behind the life you’ve known for so long? Is there a path that includes being able to grieve? Is it difficult to admit that you miss aspects of life before recovery? Yes and yes.
“Experience is the best teacher.” A mentor once said that to me, more than once even. As a member of the recovering community, I have come back to those words more times than I can count. Reading books, going on retreats, researching and searching some more. All of it supports change. What really matters is the small steps we take in change.
You are meant to enjoy this time. Focusing on the reasons why and appreciating how far you’ve come are big aspects of our work. You’ve survived, and now let’s focus on moving past survival.
To re-member is literally to put back together. It’s time to find the places that deserve to come together, in health and happiness, for you and the people who believe in you. You’ve worked hard to be here, let’s re-member that.
You deserve healing.
Focusing on the body and bottom up approaches can be vital. Trusting, laughing, appreciating life’s small beauties. From a new perspective. To savor life and be present in it.
Because you didn’t come this far to not feel good. Recognizing the importance of connecting to other humans is extremely important in recovery. Knowing how to connect to yourself is paramount.
You are a unique individual with unique needs. Your body knows what you need, and knows how to heal. Deep down, under some layers of protection, you know what you need.
By focusing on the deeper limbic system of the brain, bottom up approaches offer your body the ability to relax enough to communicate what it needs, what you’ve needed for far too long. Let’s do this work together, with trust in the process and the space to see new possibilities.
The people, places and things you have encountered along this path have left their marks. Relationships broken, promises unkept. Memories you’d rather not remember.
Lost time and guilt about what has been done or undone. Shame leading you down a road that never takes you to a better place in the end.
There is more to life than desperation, darkness, ongoing fear and concern about what tomorrow may bring. Moving out of the darkness of what is known can be scary, and it will require dedication and compassion. Especially towards yourself. Not easy but absolutely possible.
You are making a new life. Right now.
Remember that choice you made, no matter how it happened. Because it happened.
From this choice, you can focus on the “whys” and truly realise the life you have. Let’s focus on more than survival. Learning to appreciate what you have now, in order to grow and cultivate more of the goodness you want.
Bottom up approaches help you keep one foot in the present, so you can recognize what needs to be “remembered” from the past, without getting sucked into it. New insights and growth come from feeling supported in this process. Gratitude and love for what you have overcome.
Change takes time and patience. You are worth it.
Motivation for change comes from many places. There are outside forces – work, family, friends. And also internal states – beliefs, desires, even fears in the beginning. None of these are “wrong”, even if some of them offer more challenging reactions. What motivated early recovery is somewhat different than what we experience a year or a decade later. The reasons can be similar, and with time, comes depth.
To understand this better, it can be helpful to make a list of the benefits and pains of changing, as well as those for not changing. Much like a pros and cons list for both sides. We call it a decisional balance (go ahead and google it for a nice visual).
For people in early recovery, it may be that the pros of changing are initially focused on reducing negative interactions. But, wait.. That’s not really a pro of changing, it’s actually more a con of not changing. This might sound a little confusing, so I’ll sum it up this way:
The presence of the positive is where long term growth can take place.
Recovery work, at its best, moves us from the absence of the negative (no problems with family, work, friends) to the presence of the positive (enjoyable work, reconnecting and trusting family, enjoying new things). Remember, the presence of the positive will sustain you, even in the valleys. Let’s face the valleys and the mountains together.
We can’t choose the cards we are dealt, but we make the most out of our hand. Learning to live with the ups and downs of addiction, whether you are personally dealing with it, or a family member or friend is, can be a rollercoaster. Things don’t quite make sense. It can be hard to trust yourself. You might feel confused about what is the truth, and question simple interactions, going over them again and again.
Life has had many twists and turns. I know personally that addiction can be dizzying at best, and ghastly at worst. I understand this and won’t deny the past. Equally as important, I won’t ignore the inherent will to find a new path.
To remember who you were, before all of this.
And at least as important, to focus on who you are and can be. In changing, slowly and surely. With support and guidance, and trusting your inner voice.Together, we will cultivate a safe space to recognize the need for healthy vulnerability.
Without agency, there is no safety. Without you knowing you have the power to choose what is shared, you can not truly feel safe. Bottom up approaches do not ask for the story, they ask you to tune into your body and receive the answers that only you know about what is best for your recovery.
Like learning anything new, there are struggles. Remember that millions of people have done this work, and many of us recognize the need for being present with what is. To discover what can be, we must ground ourselves in today.
In the end, it’s about courage. You can connect to yourself and, in turn, feel strong enough to begin connecting to others who are safe. Then take steps towards the future.
I believe you can do this work. It has helped me and many people I have known and worked with. You can do this.
The only constant is change, let’s work together to embrace it.
Recovery is a highly individualized process, and what works for one person may not work for another. While self-help meetings like those offered by groups such as Al Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) can be helpful for many people in maintaining sobriety and finding support, they are not the only option.
Recovery can take many forms, including therapy, medication, support from friends and family, lifestyle changes, religious or spiritual practices, and more. Some individuals may find self-help meetings to be a valuable part of their recovery journey, while others may find success through other avenues.
Ultimately, the key is finding what works best for the individual and what supports their journey toward health and well-being. It’s important to explore different options and tailor the approach to meet individual needs and preferences.
Recovery from addiction can sometimes feel boring, especially in comparison to the excitement and intensity of addictive behaviors. However, this perceived boredom is often a sign of adjustment and the shift from chaotic or destructive patterns to a more stable and healthy lifestyle.
In recovery, individuals may experience a newfound sense of routine and normalcy, which can initially feel mundane compared to the highs and lows of addiction. However, this routine provides stability, allowing individuals to rebuild their lives, relationships, and pursue meaningful activities.
Additionally, boredom in recovery can present an opportunity for personal growth and exploration. It provides time and space to discover new interests, hobbies, and passions that were neglected during active addiction. Engaging in productive and fulfilling activities can contribute to a sense of purpose and satisfaction in recovery.
It’s important to remember that recovery is a process that involves facing challenges, learning coping skills, and building a life free from substance use. While it may sometimes feel boring or monotonous, it’s ultimately a journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Recovery can be difficult for a variety of reasons, and these reasons can vary greatly depending on the individual and the specific circumstances of their situation. Here are some common factors that can make recovery challenging:
It’s important to recognize that recovery is a journey, and setbacks are common. However, with persistence, support, and the right resources, many people can overcome these challenges and achieve lasting recovery.
Therapy can be an essential component of recovery from addiction, as it addresses underlying psychological factors contributing to addictive behaviors and equips individuals with coping strategies to manage cravings and triggers. Here are several ways therapy can be used effectively in addiction recovery:
Overall, therapy provides a comprehensive approach to addiction recovery by addressing both the psychological and behavioral aspects of addiction and empowering individuals to make positive changes in their lives.
Healthy recovery from addiction can manifest in various ways, but there are some common characteristics that are often observed:
Overall, healthy recovery from addiction involves holistic healing of the mind, body, and spirit, along with ongoing support and commitment to personal growth and well-being. It’s important to recognize that recovery looks different for everyone and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
My rates begin at $175 for a 50 minute session. I do not accept insurance – though, I can provide a superbill if you have out of network benefits.
Let’s get to know each other and see if my bottom up approach is a fit for your needs and goals.
Most people schedule their first therapy session less than a week after our free consult.
To create a space where you will feel respected, appreciated and empowered on your journey.
What you bring to therapy is as important as what I bring as your therapist. You will recognize my desire to work in collaboration with you, with empathy, trust and compassion.
I integrate bottom up approaches of Somatic experiencing, EMDR, Brainspotting, Mindfulness, Trauma informed yoga and other evidence based approaches such as Motivational interviewing and Narrative therapy.
Learn More About: Bottom Up Approaches – Anxiety – Trauma – Addictions – Bonnie
After filling out this form, you will be redirected to my online calendar where you can book a 30-minute Q&A call to see if my services are a fit for your needs.
